The Best Story:A Doll's House Fanfiction
A fanfiction by ARealSexOffender. Part 1 'The Beginning ' The setting is a doorway in the snow. Nora is huddled up in a fraying blanket, shivering in the wind. A constant stream of people pass her by, most turning their heads away, some giving her withering stares. After Nora went to her father's house, he kicked her out to fend for herself in the cold streets of 1980’s Tokyo. Yes, we're in Tokyo now Shivering, Nora gets up from her spot in the doorway and looks around. She thinks to herself, my I’m hungry, I wonder where I can get some food. She looks around. Immediately to her left is a dark alleyway, with hideous urchin children playing in the discarded syringes. Farther to her left, the winding street continues into the mist, tall buildings raising into the smog and darkness far above. To her left, a row of sonic elevators, ready to take her to the surface, where the upper class roam, and can look at the pretty clouds. Nora decides to go to her left, and starts to walk down the winding road. Then, out of nowhere, a hideous Torvald pops out, with a small gang of equally hideous men. Torvald, covered in satanic themed tattoos, and dressed like a biker gang themed stripper (scantily clad and clothed in leather and decorative chains), snarls at Nora, “You, I thought I’d find you here, time to die.” Torvald pulls out a long metal chain with a curved blade on the end, and so does the rest of his Tokyo motorcycle gang, leaving their hoverbikes behind. As they advance on Nora, 7 black-clad ninjas jump out of the dark alley and pull out various ninja looking weapons (nunchucks, throwing stars, sai, etc..). As Nora backs away, the biker gang and ninja band advance on each other. Soon they are face to face, staring each other down. Then, out of nowhere, Tony the Tiger jumps out, a Kellogg's frosted flakes themed samurai sword in one hand, a Kellogg’s frosted flakes themed laser pistol in the other. As well, he is clothed specially designed corporate-sponsored space battle armor. As he leaps on the pile of fighting ninjas and Japanese bikers, he roars at the top of his lungs “THAT’S GGRRRRRREAAT!” As the new threat arises, the ninjas and bikers decide to band together, and soon Tony the Tiger is dead, his mangled and bloodied body lying the the middle of the street. As it slowly starts to rain, Torvald looks over at Nora, softness replacing his cold heart. “Nora”, Torvald says, “Nora I’m so sorry.” Nora begins to cry, then races over to Torvald, now dressed as an Italian butler. As Nora embraces Torvald, the landscape fades away into the game Candyland, and the biker gang is now a candy cane infantry, with lollipop swords. The ninjas are now marshmellow ninjas, and their weapons are chocalate. The whole group exclaims in glee “THANK YOU SANTA!!”, and run up and hug an enormous Santa Claus, who ho-ho-hos in a ground rattling voice. “Your welcome my children, now, who wants to play Super Smash Brothers”. The End. Part 2 'The Uprising' The swirling purple portal opens up in a green field a small city in the background. As biker Nora and biker Torvald jump out, the portal closes, and sheep run away, baaing. “Well, we’re here,” says Torvald to Nora, “Time to go kill Jeebus.” As Nora and Torvald trudge down the hill towards Bethlehem, bewildered townsfolk look onward, some praying, most just looking on. Soon the couple reach the stable where Mary and Joseph fondly look at their newborn child. Nora proceeds to shoot and kill Joseph and Mary with an explosive octopus gun. “Give it up Jesus, the gig is up.” “YOU’LL NEVER GET ME,” screeches a baby Jesus, and summons his army of spider robots from Mii Plaza. The horde of spider robots attack, and so does Nora and Torvald, but for every spider robot they cut down, 4 more take its place. Soon the duo are at the edge of reality, with only a fraction of the horde cut down. “We need backup Nora,” Torvald yells, “I’m calling in the big guns.” Torvald pulls out his radio and screams into it, “WE NEED BACKUP, SENT OUT THE BIG GUNS!” Out of somewhere, an orange and red portal appears, and both Kool-aid Man and Gargamel hop out, brandishing large laser miniguns. “OH YEAH,” Kool-aid Man exclaims, and Gargamel cackles as he mows down row upon row of spider robots. After 6 grueling hours of battle, the fighting ends with Torvald, Nora, and Gargamel victorious (Kool-aid Man sadly didn’t make it). As the trio run back to the barn, they find Jeebus nowhere to be seen, and a small note saying ‘See you on Mars.’ The End. Part 3 'The Battle For Mars ' We last saw our heroes after the Battle for Bethlehem, now we find them speeding towards Mars in a specialized space beyblade, with thousands of banana laser shotguns mounted on every surface. The miniature African continent of Afromars grows bigger and bigger, and the party engage the landing gears,which need to be oiled badly. The beyblade lands, and the three burst out, guns blazing into the hectic battle between the orcs, the minions, and the mutant six-legged giraffes. As a giant mecha Hitler and a giant mecha Abraham Lincoln duke it out above, the massive battle rages below, with Bob, Stuart, and Kevin leading the minion charge. Bilbo Baggins leading the orc charge, having become an orc himself. And a herd of mutant giraffes attacking as one, being linked together with telepathy from the experiment on Pluto by the mad penguin scientist. At the center of Afromars the multiverse tower stands tall, as the solemn gatekeeper stands silent, brandishing his magical ramen fork. Soon, giant mecha Adolf Hitler defeats giant mecha Abraham Lincoln and finishes him off, severing his his head with a mighty blow from his magical purple lightsaber. The whole battle falls still as the enormous body of Abraham Lincoln slowly topples over, wiping out the orcs and mutant giraffes (except for one, who we shall call Tyrone). The minion horde, now victorious, celebrate and pledge their undying allegiance to giant mecha Adolf Hitler, who makes his way to the multiverse tower. “GIVE IT UP, GATEKEEPER,” giant mecha Adolf Hitler yells, his voice booming through the landscape, causing massive earthquakes all over Mars and rips and seams in the space time continuum. Then, Bradolf Hitler, Adolf Hitler's twin brother explodes onto the scene, impaling giant mecha Adolf Hilter in the back with a giant Crayola crayon, sharpened to a point. “I AM VICTORIOUS,” Bradolf yells, “IN YOUR FACE BROTHER, MOTHER ALWAYS ALWAYS SAID I WAS THE BEST.” “Fuck this.” Jeebus yells, “I just wanted to see Adolf Hitler destroy the multiverse tower so he could gas all of the interdimensional space universe Jews, but nooooo, you had to go ahead and kill him.” Disgusted, Jeebus walks offstage, and the crowd roars and gives the characters a standing ovation. The End. Category:Other Category:Fanfiction